Tomorrow is Orphan Sunday. We are excited to be part of the story tomorrow at our church and to be able to stand together with other families to show what adoption looks like.
But in the process, we wrote out our full adoption story. And while some of you may know/remember all this because you walked through it with us, it's always good to look back and remember all that God has done.
This is our story.
Becky and I were married in 1994. Aidan came along in 1997 and Noah followed 17 months later. After a few years, we wanted to expand our family, but experienced a series of losses and complications.
In October, 2003, Becky and I completed our last round of infertility. After two years of riding the infertility treatment roller-coaster, we had determined that if this last round was not successful, we would explore other options. A few weeks later, we found out that we were not pregnant, and decided at that time to spend some time in prayer seeking the Lord's direction. We knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord had called us to having a larger family and we knew that when the Lord calls, the Lord provides.
In January, 2004, we began the adoption process with Dillon International and chose South Korea as the country where we would adopt. We were a little taken aback by the cost for the adoption, but again, we knew that God would provide and as we began the application process and made our initial payments, the money was there. During 2004, international adoptions were moving smoothly and quickly, and we were told that we could have a referral as soon as 4-6 months after we completed our homestudy. We completed all the paperwork, medical work, and homestudy as quickly as we could so we could get on the referral list for a little boy.
At the time, I was a consultant for software company. I absolutely loved my job - It was my dream job. But as the economy began to slow in 2004, the sales pipeline for our business grew to a halt. On June 4, 2004, I received the call that I was laid off with just a few weeks severance. One of my first thoughts was how would this affect our adoption. We were about to hit that window of time when we would be receiving a referral, and along with the referral would be a large payment due towards the adoption. Plus, due to all the processes of adoption, I had to show that I was employed to complete an adoption. I was fearful that the money we had saved up for the adoption would have to be used for living expenses. And, I was worried that the loss of job could postpone the entire adoption for an indefinite period of time.
Two weeks after being laid off, I received a call from a former co-worker to work as a project manager for an implementation project for the summer. I didn't have the specific qualifications for the job, but this man was assured that I had the skills to complete the job. He asked me to come in for interview, but also told me to be prepared to stay the day and start work. I drove downtown the following Monday unsure that I could handle this job, but also knowing that I would never know what I could do if I didn't take a few risks and take a step of faith.
I accepted the position and began work immediately for the next 12 weeks. During that time, God provided abundantly. On the 2nd to last day of the contract job, we received a phone call from the adoption agency asking us to consider the referral of a little 6-wk old boy who had been born a few weeks premature. We knew immediately upon reviewing the paperwork that this was our son and the next morning we accepted the referral and received an email with his pictures attached. This was the first time we saw our Tucker Paul.
And, here's the "rest of the story" . . . not only did we have all the money we needed to finish paying off the adoption, but I had made enough money during those 12 weeks to pay ALL of our adoption expenses (including all the money we had already paid) and pay all our living expenses at the time.
What an opportunity we had to teach Aidan and Noah Psalm 37:25 “I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.” and Phil 4:19 “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” For us, it was a living testimony that when God calls, God Provides.
Through a series of changes in policy and timing, it was 6 months before we could bring Tucker home (at the time, children were coming home 6-8 weeks after the referral). Those were the longest 6 months - everyday was an anticipation of "could this be the day we get our travel call". Finally, 28 weeks after our referral, we got the call that we could travel to Seoul to pick up Tucker. We finalized our trip plans quickly and left within a few days for Seoul, Korea. Becky and I were able to visit Tucker the day after we arrived. We couldn't keep our hands off of him - he was a promise fulfilled, a living, breathing, healthy, baby boy that our hearts had ached for - and he really didn't want to have anything to do with us. The night we received him, he cried (more like wailed) for over 2 hours. He cried, Becky cried, I cried - all I could think was this was going to be a very long flight home. But he had to learn to trust us, and we had to learn all about this little bundle of boy.
As soon as we finalized Tucker's adoption, we began the process to adopt a little girl from China (because Becky was still after a little girl). As I was viewing our agencies website, a picture of a little boy listed as a waiting child appeared after a few months. His eyes haunted me and I kept going back to his picture day after day. I asked Becky to review - she let me know there was no need - we were getting a girl from China. I was persistent week after week, and Becky finally agreed to review his medical records. This little boy was a waiting child due to medical issues - and issues that could become larger problems as the child grew older. We had several doctors review and we all prayed diligently and knew that this little boy was indeed going to be a "Daily boy". He would only be 4 months younger than Tucker, meaning we were going to have "virtual twins". So 14 months after traveling to Korea to get Tucker, we found ourselves back in Seoul to pick up Cade.
We met with Cade everyday we were in Korea. He was 19 months old at the time and absolutely refused to let us have anything to do with him. He would not let us hold him, would not sit on our lap, would not play with us, and would scream and cry if we were left alone with him. The day we left Korea with Cade, he kicked, screamed, bit, yelled and basically fought us as hard as he can. Cade's transition was more difficult, but we grew to love him, and he grew to love us.
We know and acknowledge that we are a conspicuous family. We know people look at us and point. We are different: we have 5 boys, we have two boys adopted from South Korea, we have a boy with special needs. But we want people to know that families come in all shapes in sizes. It's not DNA that makes a family - and nowhere does it state in the Bible that families must look alike (As I tell my boys, I don't look anything like their mother). And it's a joy and privilege to see how my "Daily boys" love each other, cheer each other on, and are each other's best friends. It's amazing to see how God can put a family together. It's not what I expected when I married Becky. I never dreamed we would have 5 children and still want more, but God moves in mysterious ways.
When we adopted Tucker and Cade, I learned the love of an adoptive father - to love a child not of my blood, but of my heart; to love a child that didn't immediately love me back; to love a child that was chosen to be part of my family. And, as I stood in front of the judge the day we finalized their adoption, and the judge asked me "will you love this child forever - because what you are doing is irrevocable", I realized that yes, I will love this child forever - and the same goes with God's love. His love for me is irrevocable and He promises to love me forever. It's been over 6 years since we started our adoption journey. I can honestly tell you when I look at my family, I see my boys. I do not see the color of the skin or their eyes, I do not see what makes each one different, but I see what makes us all one. We are FAMILY - they are my Daily boys.
But in the process, we wrote out our full adoption story. And while some of you may know/remember all this because you walked through it with us, it's always good to look back and remember all that God has done.
This is our story.
Becky and I were married in 1994. Aidan came along in 1997 and Noah followed 17 months later. After a few years, we wanted to expand our family, but experienced a series of losses and complications.
In October, 2003, Becky and I completed our last round of infertility. After two years of riding the infertility treatment roller-coaster, we had determined that if this last round was not successful, we would explore other options. A few weeks later, we found out that we were not pregnant, and decided at that time to spend some time in prayer seeking the Lord's direction. We knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord had called us to having a larger family and we knew that when the Lord calls, the Lord provides.
In January, 2004, we began the adoption process with Dillon International and chose South Korea as the country where we would adopt. We were a little taken aback by the cost for the adoption, but again, we knew that God would provide and as we began the application process and made our initial payments, the money was there. During 2004, international adoptions were moving smoothly and quickly, and we were told that we could have a referral as soon as 4-6 months after we completed our homestudy. We completed all the paperwork, medical work, and homestudy as quickly as we could so we could get on the referral list for a little boy.
At the time, I was a consultant for software company. I absolutely loved my job - It was my dream job. But as the economy began to slow in 2004, the sales pipeline for our business grew to a halt. On June 4, 2004, I received the call that I was laid off with just a few weeks severance. One of my first thoughts was how would this affect our adoption. We were about to hit that window of time when we would be receiving a referral, and along with the referral would be a large payment due towards the adoption. Plus, due to all the processes of adoption, I had to show that I was employed to complete an adoption. I was fearful that the money we had saved up for the adoption would have to be used for living expenses. And, I was worried that the loss of job could postpone the entire adoption for an indefinite period of time.
Two weeks after being laid off, I received a call from a former co-worker to work as a project manager for an implementation project for the summer. I didn't have the specific qualifications for the job, but this man was assured that I had the skills to complete the job. He asked me to come in for interview, but also told me to be prepared to stay the day and start work. I drove downtown the following Monday unsure that I could handle this job, but also knowing that I would never know what I could do if I didn't take a few risks and take a step of faith.
I accepted the position and began work immediately for the next 12 weeks. During that time, God provided abundantly. On the 2nd to last day of the contract job, we received a phone call from the adoption agency asking us to consider the referral of a little 6-wk old boy who had been born a few weeks premature. We knew immediately upon reviewing the paperwork that this was our son and the next morning we accepted the referral and received an email with his pictures attached. This was the first time we saw our Tucker Paul.
And, here's the "rest of the story" . . . not only did we have all the money we needed to finish paying off the adoption, but I had made enough money during those 12 weeks to pay ALL of our adoption expenses (including all the money we had already paid) and pay all our living expenses at the time.
What an opportunity we had to teach Aidan and Noah Psalm 37:25 “I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.” and Phil 4:19 “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” For us, it was a living testimony that when God calls, God Provides.
Through a series of changes in policy and timing, it was 6 months before we could bring Tucker home (at the time, children were coming home 6-8 weeks after the referral). Those were the longest 6 months - everyday was an anticipation of "could this be the day we get our travel call". Finally, 28 weeks after our referral, we got the call that we could travel to Seoul to pick up Tucker. We finalized our trip plans quickly and left within a few days for Seoul, Korea. Becky and I were able to visit Tucker the day after we arrived. We couldn't keep our hands off of him - he was a promise fulfilled, a living, breathing, healthy, baby boy that our hearts had ached for - and he really didn't want to have anything to do with us. The night we received him, he cried (more like wailed) for over 2 hours. He cried, Becky cried, I cried - all I could think was this was going to be a very long flight home. But he had to learn to trust us, and we had to learn all about this little bundle of boy.
As soon as we finalized Tucker's adoption, we began the process to adopt a little girl from China (because Becky was still after a little girl). As I was viewing our agencies website, a picture of a little boy listed as a waiting child appeared after a few months. His eyes haunted me and I kept going back to his picture day after day. I asked Becky to review - she let me know there was no need - we were getting a girl from China. I was persistent week after week, and Becky finally agreed to review his medical records. This little boy was a waiting child due to medical issues - and issues that could become larger problems as the child grew older. We had several doctors review and we all prayed diligently and knew that this little boy was indeed going to be a "Daily boy". He would only be 4 months younger than Tucker, meaning we were going to have "virtual twins". So 14 months after traveling to Korea to get Tucker, we found ourselves back in Seoul to pick up Cade.
We know and acknowledge that we are a conspicuous family. We know people look at us and point. We are different: we have 5 boys, we have two boys adopted from South Korea, we have a boy with special needs. But we want people to know that families come in all shapes in sizes. It's not DNA that makes a family - and nowhere does it state in the Bible that families must look alike (As I tell my boys, I don't look anything like their mother). And it's a joy and privilege to see how my "Daily boys" love each other, cheer each other on, and are each other's best friends. It's amazing to see how God can put a family together. It's not what I expected when I married Becky. I never dreamed we would have 5 children and still want more, but God moves in mysterious ways.
When we adopted Tucker and Cade, I learned the love of an adoptive father - to love a child not of my blood, but of my heart; to love a child that didn't immediately love me back; to love a child that was chosen to be part of my family. And, as I stood in front of the judge the day we finalized their adoption, and the judge asked me "will you love this child forever - because what you are doing is irrevocable", I realized that yes, I will love this child forever - and the same goes with God's love. His love for me is irrevocable and He promises to love me forever. It's been over 6 years since we started our adoption journey. I can honestly tell you when I look at my family, I see my boys. I do not see the color of the skin or their eyes, I do not see what makes each one different, but I see what makes us all one. We are FAMILY - they are my Daily boys.
2 comments:
what a touching post. really enjoyed it. thanks for sharing.
so wonderful to hear the 'story' again and be reminded of God's great love for each of His adopted children through your real life example of what that 'looks like'. So blessed to be a part of the Daily Family because of Christ. With our love, Gary & Anne Marie
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