Special Needs Parents

I apologize for not posting recently - it has been a very busy week.

Becky, Titus and I drove to Houston this weekend to attend and speak at the Growing Families International Conference. It was a Friday night/Saturday conference, so it ended up being a quick trip to Houston and back.

We thoroughly enjoyed our time seeing old friends and partners in the ministry. I delivered the "Raising Daniels in a Technological Babylon" seminar twice and Becky/I spoke on "The Funnel". We also hosted a lunch Q&A for parents of elementary age children. Once it was over, I realized I had been standing and talking for over 4 hours (and being the melancholy that I am, I was exhausted after that much talking). But, it is always fun to speak to parents who have a passion for raising godly children and we were excited to see the enthusiasm in their eyes. Plus, I have a blast teaching with my wife (she rocks).

Titus did good on the trip - although his sleeping in the hotel wasn't great. Like any child taken out of his safe and comfortable environment, he was a little uneasy at times, but as soon as we put him back in the car to go home, and he felt his car-seat, he knew where he was and just squealed and jabbered for 15 minutes.

We are finding that when we take Titus with us to these types of events, we always have parents who have special needs children that will come and talk to us. And I mention that to all who read since I want to let you know a few things about parents of special needs children.

It's hard work - plain and simple. Parenting any child can be hard work (we have lots of experience with that), but parents of children with special needs face a whole slew of other challenges - and that in itself can make life hard. So when they find someone else who can relate, you automatically feel a connection because they know you understand.

I wish I could convey that to others, but the main thing I would like to say is this - if you can show compassion to them, show it; if you do an act of kindness (even just opening a door with a smile), do it;

Tell them their child is beautiful - it is something they don't hear often (a worker at one of the fast-food restaurants told us how beautiful Titus was this weekend - and it was sweet music to our ears).

Don't talk about the child like he isn't there - respect that he is and can hear you. Realize that due to a childs needs, he may require my attention while you are talking with then. Please realize they are not ignoring you, but have to address his needs immediately.

Know that their schedule revolves around therapy, doctor's appointments, and other children - which sometimes does not lead to times of vacation or relaxation or fun family activities, but they still like to hear that they are invited to participate. If they can come, they will make every effort - it just requires some advanced planning. And realize, that families with special needs don't get invited to come over to someone else's home, their other kids may not get invited to birthday parties or other activities, or they may get invited but may not get to attend. For us, we strive to keep life as normal and fun as possible for the other boys - we make sure they know that Titus is part of our family and we include him in all of our activities - it just takes some extra work and effort.

And last point, know that the parents of special needs children have received an incredible blessing that has forever affected their lifes. I said one time that no one prays for a special needs child, they pray for a healthy child. But I can tell you that the last two years with Titus has changed me in a way that I never dreamed - and I can't imagine life without him.

BTW, Titus turns 2 on Saturday! I'll post more on that later.