Surgery Rescheduled

Titus is a month old tomorrow. After 4 weeks in the NICU, he has made much progress from when he first came in. We haven't reallly had any "steps back" until this week, so although it initially caught us off guard, we realize that setbacks are to be expected in the NICU.

Titus was originally scheduled for jaw distraction surgery yesterday. When Dr. Genecov, the cranio-facial surgeon, stopped by on Tuesday to review the procedure with us, Titus' white blood cell count and temp was up. This indicated an infection. Further tests confirmed it, but they could not find exactly where the infection was. Nevertheless, surgery was postponed to make sure all signs of infection were gone. They started Titus on antibiotics immediately and he has responded well to them. He was also struggling with his oxygen levels, so they put a canula under his nose to provide oxygen. As of now, indicators looks good the infection has been taken care of, but they will keep him on antibiotics and oxygen for a few more days. To administer the antibiotics, they had to install an IV. Since the day Titus was born, they have had problems installing IVs - and it's truly painful to watch them stick him numerous times only to have the vein collapse.

Today they tried to install a PIC line IV but gave up after trying for over an hour. When we finally saw him, his little arms looked like a pincushion and he was wide-eyed and hungry. He settled down after a feeding and got some rest. But, since Titus will need a solid IV installed for them to administer antibiotics and pain medicine after his surgery, they are installing a broviac IV tonight. Dr. Renard, the pediatriac surgeon who took care of Titus during his g-tube surgery, is installing it as I type this email.

After the last two weeks of being able to hold him with only a few wires, it's been hard to see him go back to have more wires and oxygen tubes around, but we know it is for his good and only temporary.

The jaw distraction surgery is now scheduled for Friday, Dec. 21. I do not know the time yet, but will let you know as we get closer.

Becky and I went out to dinner last night on the way home from the hospital. We needed the time to just talk. We are tired, we miss our boys, we feel as if we shuttle them back and forth so much, and we feel so helpless for Titus. But we talked about the main verse that has resonated in my head "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9.

For my birthday last year, Becky and boys gave me a Noah Webster Dictionary from 1828. The beauty of a Noah Webster dictionary is that most of the definitions have Biblical references. Grace, has more than 20 explanations as defined by Webster. But some of them are:
the free, unmerited love and favor of God, the spring and source of all the benefits men receive by Him, favorable influence of God, divine influence or the influence of the spirit in renewing the heart and restraining from sin Christ's righteousness to the sinner, Favor, mercy, pardon
privilege.

And sufficient is defined as "enough to equal to the end proposed; adquate to wants; competent; qualified; fit"

So, taking this back to Becky and I sitting at dinner - we talked that God's grace (HIs free unmerited love, favor, mercy, pardon, privilege, benefits) is sufficient (enough, adequate, competent). In our microwave, super-size-it world where we want it NOW and we want it BIG, I have to realize God is sufficient. He's all I need, He's ENOUGH, more than adequate, and entirely competent. And as I struggle with the 'I Want Titus Home NOW and I want my life back to normal NOW' thoughts, I'm reminded over and over 'God's Grace is Sufficient'. And even more, that His power is made perfect in my weakness. I hate being weak - as much as I want to rush in and fix everything, this is a situation where my talents can't help Titus. I'm totally helpless as I watch the doctors/nurses work on my son. Yes, I can pray, but when you stand there watching a team work on your son, you want to do something. It's my son and I want to help him, but I can't. So instead, I sing.

Jesus loves me, this I know
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong.They are WEAK, but He is Strong.
Yes, Jesus loves Me.
Yes, Jesus loves Titus.
Yes, Jesus love me,
The Bible tells me so.

Thank you for bearing with me through my long emails. Writing is therapy for me (Hello, my name is Paul, I write a lot. It's been 4 days since my last wordy email).

Please pray for this things this week:

• Titus Broviac IV can be installed with no problems and function completely for the all his needs the next few weeks


• Titus body will be healed from all infection so that surgery will go as scheduled next Friday


• Titus breathing will stay strong


• Titus will continue to gain weight (he's over 6lb 3 oz - and getting a little chub on his skinny legs).


• Our health - Aidan, Cade, Tucker, and Paul are all struggling with coughs, allergies or asthma


• Becky's strength as she coordinates schedules, hospital visits