Separation

Today marks 32 days back in the hospital. Titus has been back in a regular hospital room for the last 8 days. Which means that Becky has been staying at the hospital 24/7 for the last 8 days. She did come home 1 night last week to sleep while her mom stayed with Titus, but other than a few trips to a friends house to take a shower, she has been by his side the entire time. As you can imagine, she's exhausted from the constant stream of nurses and respiratory therapists that come in continually through the night.

Titus is doing good. He is back to full feeds (70cc) every 3 hours, he is off all methadone and antibiotics, and for the last 2 days has been off oxygen. He was desatted a bit yesterday, so they put him back on oxygen through the night to help him out, but it's coming back off today. He continues to run an erratic low-grade fever which is stumping the doctors. It's not high and goes back down after a few hours.

As it stands today, he MAY come home tomorrow. But we will have to see how today goes and how the doctor feels about things in the morning.

The other factor in the equation is that Tucker has had the flu this week and Cade has shown symptoms. We have all been on Tamiflu since Thursday. Tucker and Cade have been staying at my parents or Becky's parents for the last several days to keep them away from the house, Aidan and Noah, and me. I am also exhibiting some symptoms, but am taking my Tamiflu and spending the weekend in bed (which is not much help to Becky).

In my drives back and forth from the hospital this week, my thoughts have drifted to separation. Becky and I have talked and we are tired of being apart from each other, from our boys, from our home. Our marriage and our family was not designed to be in 3 different places. Becky and I really guard our family time together and work hard to make sure we have meals together as a family, have regular family time, and focus on our family identity. As a result, all of us (boys included) are struggling with the being apart from each other.

Separation hurts - I don't like sleeping in an empty bed - I miss my wife next to me (and she says she misses my snoring). Separation is hard, separation just plain old stinks - especially when there is nothing you can do about it but endure. We know it's temporary, but right now, that doesn;t soothe over the fact that we long to be back together again under one roof, sharing our meals together, hearing our boys chatter and laugh, tucking them in at night, getting constant hugs and kisses.

And as I thought about it, I wondered, does my separation from God bother him? When I ignore him, don't spend time with him, try to do everything myself instead of rely upon his ultimate power - does my so-called "independence" hurt God? Because, that's not what I was designed for - God didn't create me to live my life for myself - but to live my life for Him. God didn't design marriage to be 2 people living for themselves, but to be one body. God didn't design the family to be separate bodies, but to be interdependent on each other - and Becky and I to be parents who lead/discipline/train/grow our children in the ways of the Lord.

All of this realization this week made me realize that as much as I miss my wife and family, do I miss my time with God more? Sheepishly, I realized I have been so busy with activities of self, that I've separated myself from fellowship with God also.

But, as it tells it in Romans 8:35-39
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I have to remember, as much as I miss my time with family and my wife, God also misses that time with me.

Please pray for these things this week:

• Titus continues to grow stronger in his breathing and remains healthy
• The bones in Titus chin will continue to grow strong - Dr. Genecov is planning on removing the jaw distration devices the first week of April, which is 2 weeks later than planned, but wants to give plenty of time for the bone to grow and harden.
• Tucker as he recuperates from the Flu
• Cade as he has a runny nose and slight fever
• Aidan has a deep cough
• Paul has cough and congestion and needs rest this weekend.
• Noah and Becky are healthy (and need to stay that way) Becky for rest - she is the most awesome wife and mother and the has earned her "nursing" degree over the past month and can operate all the machines like the nurses.