I was reading a Karen Kingsbury book about a baby who had anencephaly. The family chose to carry the baby to term and celebrate the few hours she lived. In the book it was talking about the story of Elijah in First Kings... First there came a powerful wind, but the Lord was not in the wind... next there wan an earthquake,but the Lord wasn’t there, either. Then came a fire, but He wasn’t in the fire either... then he heard a gentle whisper and knew God was in the whisper.
As I read through the painful joys and sorrows of this sweet baby, it carried me back to the day Titus was born. It was one of the greatest days of my life... It was just Paul and I for the afternoon at the hospital. It was quiet, sweet time. When Titus was born, not a sound was made. The room slowly filled with Drs, nurses and such and still not a sound was made that I could hear. Fairly quickly they took Titus to ICU, and Paul followed. That day, His still small voice was heard in the gift of Titus. I was left alone in a hospital room for quite some time... The only words I kept saying to God was, “You are good and I trust you.” It truly was a time the Lord carried me through, filling my soul with a peace that only He could give. On a day I thought would be full of celebration and a baby’s cry, instead was full of empty arms and 4 sweet boys who all had to leave the hospital without kisses and hugs for the baby they had prayed so long for.
Tonight as I was weeping, I was reminded of what His gentle whisper is in my world today... the quiet beeps of the heart monitor while He sleeps peacefully, sometimes it’s the labored breathing as Titus is fighting to keep his airway open while he sleeps, and it is also the wide toothy grin when he senses you are close to his face.
I must admit some moments feel dark and that the storm may overtake me, but it is often followed by His joy and pure delight that is shown between the brothers and Titus. Life is God’s to give and His to take. The world doesn’t always value broken babies, but I consider myself blessed to be Titus’ mom.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
Ring Bearer, Batman, or James Bond
Tucker put on the tuxedo and said, "I'm Batman!" And that was pretty much his tone for the day. He did a great job as ring bearer for cousin Kris' wedding to Kim. You couldn't have asked for a more beautiful couple on a perfect day for an outdoor wedding. Tucker did great and gave a shout-out to Noah as he walked down the aisle. He leaned against cousin Justin during most of the wedding. It's a good think that Justin is around 6'4" and could take the constant pressure of 30 lbs hitting you right at the knees. 
So, Tuck-Tuck, we are all proud of you. You did good!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Busy Day, Busy Week
Tucker is to be the ring bearer at our cousin, Kris D., wedding today. He did a good job at rehearsal last night so we anxiously optimistic that he will do a good job today. It's an outdoor wedding at White Rock lake. And so far, today is a beautiful day with a light breeze. We are praying it stays that way (it was a bit overcast and windy yesterday). If you have the chance, please say a prayer for Kim and Kris - not only for the start of their beautiful life together, but Kim has had the flu and strep throat over the last few weeks, and now she has mono. She was incredibly gracious last night, but if you have had mono before, you know how it can just wear you out.
And as soon as the wedding is over, I'll be headed to the airport to fly to the UK for a week in Manchester. I am attending a series of meetings over the next few days as we gather information about HR processes around our company. It's kind of funny in a way, Friday was my 3rd year anniversary with this company, and I am finally doing the job I was hired to do 3 years ago.
Titus and I are spending the morning together before we head out for the wedding and airport. He has been so happy lately. He is really learning to play and interact. When playing, he reaches and waves those hands out in front of him - searching for your hands or the toy you are playing with. And when he finds your hands, he just smiles and laughs. And, he's really learned to do this at bedtime, which makes it difficult to let him go to sleep since he is so alert and wants to play (little stinker is learning how to postpone bedtime).
I'll post pics of the wedding as soon as I get the opportunity. Tucker looks might spiffy in his tux.
And as soon as the wedding is over, I'll be headed to the airport to fly to the UK for a week in Manchester. I am attending a series of meetings over the next few days as we gather information about HR processes around our company. It's kind of funny in a way, Friday was my 3rd year anniversary with this company, and I am finally doing the job I was hired to do 3 years ago.
Titus and I are spending the morning together before we head out for the wedding and airport. He has been so happy lately. He is really learning to play and interact. When playing, he reaches and waves those hands out in front of him - searching for your hands or the toy you are playing with. And when he finds your hands, he just smiles and laughs. And, he's really learned to do this at bedtime, which makes it difficult to let him go to sleep since he is so alert and wants to play (little stinker is learning how to postpone bedtime).
I'll post pics of the wedding as soon as I get the opportunity. Tucker looks might spiffy in his tux.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Dad is Coming Home
After 57 days at Parkland/Zale Lipshy, Dad is being released to go home today. He is so excited (and so is Mom). He will spend several weeks at home in the wheelchair, then will go back for therapy for walking after they are assured all the bones are healed.
This week, when my tank was leaking under the aquarium, my first thought was "where is my dad?" He would know how to fix this in a split-second (or 5-minute job as he would call it - that would generally turn into an all day job). But then I thought, Dad didn't raise me to watch, he raised me to do - so I thought - what would Dad do with a leaky tank. And I took action. Now, it ain't pretty, but it's functional and it's fixed. I think Dad would be proud! And, I'm proud of my Dad who has endured the last 57 days. I know he can't wait to get home tonight and have his bowl of ice cream before bed time (his frozen bottle as we would call it).
Secondly, I have mentioned Ethan C several times before. He's the teenager who was in the PICU with Titus at Medical City. Ethan is still there, but we got the call last night that he is having surgery today at noon to replace his pacemaker. If all goes well, he should be able to go home soon. This is so encouraging since that morning, they stated surgery may not happen for several more weeks. The surgeon had a cancellation and was able to slot Ethan in today. Please continue to pray for Ethan and his family.
This week, when my tank was leaking under the aquarium, my first thought was "where is my dad?" He would know how to fix this in a split-second (or 5-minute job as he would call it - that would generally turn into an all day job). But then I thought, Dad didn't raise me to watch, he raised me to do - so I thought - what would Dad do with a leaky tank. And I took action. Now, it ain't pretty, but it's functional and it's fixed. I think Dad would be proud! And, I'm proud of my Dad who has endured the last 57 days. I know he can't wait to get home tonight and have his bowl of ice cream before bed time (his frozen bottle as we would call it).
Secondly, I have mentioned Ethan C several times before. He's the teenager who was in the PICU with Titus at Medical City. Ethan is still there, but we got the call last night that he is having surgery today at noon to replace his pacemaker. If all goes well, he should be able to go home soon. This is so encouraging since that morning, they stated surgery may not happen for several more weeks. The surgeon had a cancellation and was able to slot Ethan in today. Please continue to pray for Ethan and his family.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Old - Part 2
Last week when we got the call that Titus could come home from the hospital, we had to arrange to get Becky's suburban to me since I didn't have any oxygen in my car or the car seat.
Becky's mom, Nana, brought the car down to my office. Since my cell phone was acting up, Nana came into the office and asked the receptionist to page me. I come out, Nana and I exchange keys, and I walk back into the office.
And, my platinum blonde receptionist asks, "Is that your wife?"
"NO", I replied, "That's my mother-in-law!"
Yep - officially old.
Becky's mom, Nana, brought the car down to my office. Since my cell phone was acting up, Nana came into the office and asked the receptionist to page me. I come out, Nana and I exchange keys, and I walk back into the office.
And, my platinum blonde receptionist asks, "Is that your wife?"
"NO", I replied, "That's my mother-in-law!"
Yep - officially old.
Old - Part 1
Ever have just one of those days?
After an incredibly busy day at work, I come home to find the tank the sump pump is in for the aquarium is leaking. It takes a little ingenuity, but I get the tank drained and everything dried out.
Meanwhile, all of the boys are running on extra energy and could barely stay in their seats at dinner. And, Titus joined us at the dinner table! We put him the high chair for the first time (it was reclined a bit) and he loved being up at the same level as the rest of us. It was such a joy to have all 7 of us around the table.
After dinner, Becky and I are catching up and the phone rings. I jump up and run down the hall to get the phone, except that I didn't make the corner in the hall. The next thing I know, my feet are going up in the air, my shoulder hits the wall as my hip hits the floor - and as they use to say "fatboy is down".
Aidan answers the phone- it's for me - and Aidan says "dad's fallen and he can't get up".
Yep - I'm officially old.
After an incredibly busy day at work, I come home to find the tank the sump pump is in for the aquarium is leaking. It takes a little ingenuity, but I get the tank drained and everything dried out.
Meanwhile, all of the boys are running on extra energy and could barely stay in their seats at dinner. And, Titus joined us at the dinner table! We put him the high chair for the first time (it was reclined a bit) and he loved being up at the same level as the rest of us. It was such a joy to have all 7 of us around the table.
After dinner, Becky and I are catching up and the phone rings. I jump up and run down the hall to get the phone, except that I didn't make the corner in the hall. The next thing I know, my feet are going up in the air, my shoulder hits the wall as my hip hits the floor - and as they use to say "fatboy is down".
Aidan answers the phone- it's for me - and Aidan says "dad's fallen and he can't get up".
Yep - I'm officially old.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Happy Boy
Titus is back to his happy, content self. It is always amazing to see how resilient and fast he can bounce back. He started back to Therapy this week, and although his muscles are tense/tight, he was a trooper. Before we went into the hospital a few weeks back, Titus got his leg braces. They look like little boots and will go below the knee. They will be used to provide and support to his legs. We are working on turning his hips/legs in so he will sit with his legs straight out in front of him.
He has been laughing and playing with his toys more and more each day. We have also learned to clap our hands in front of his chest before we pick him up. He will then reach up and grab our hands. When we praise him, he just grins and laughs. But lately, when we put him bed, he decides to play - and will laugh if we tickle him in bed or play peek-a-boo. It does seem like he sees more and more. Someday we will found out how much vision he actually has.
He's in desperate need of a haircut. I do believe his hair grows twice as fast as the rest of the boys. They all got haircuts last night, but after getting through all 4 of them, I was too tired to do one more. Now, I have to also explain, we setup our new 150 gallon salt-water aquarium yesterday (we meaning mostly Mike M - thank you so much) . So not only did I load/unload 30 5-gallon jugs of salt-water, but then I had to raise them over my head (or balance on the ladder) to slowly pour them into the aquarium. Let's just say, I definitely got my workout yesterday. So after lifting a ton of water, cutting 4 boys hair wore me out. But Titus will get his haircut today and I'll take new pics to post.
He has been laughing and playing with his toys more and more each day. We have also learned to clap our hands in front of his chest before we pick him up. He will then reach up and grab our hands. When we praise him, he just grins and laughs. But lately, when we put him bed, he decides to play - and will laugh if we tickle him in bed or play peek-a-boo. It does seem like he sees more and more. Someday we will found out how much vision he actually has.
He's in desperate need of a haircut. I do believe his hair grows twice as fast as the rest of the boys. They all got haircuts last night, but after getting through all 4 of them, I was too tired to do one more. Now, I have to also explain, we setup our new 150 gallon salt-water aquarium yesterday (we meaning mostly Mike M - thank you so much) . So not only did I load/unload 30 5-gallon jugs of salt-water, but then I had to raise them over my head (or balance on the ladder) to slowly pour them into the aquarium. Let's just say, I definitely got my workout yesterday. So after lifting a ton of water, cutting 4 boys hair wore me out. But Titus will get his haircut today and I'll take new pics to post.
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