If you have ever flown to Sydney, you know how long a flight it can be from Los Angeles (18+ hours). My flight left several hours late at 3am instead of 1am, and I was already exhausted since I was keeping myself awake until I got on the plane. As I settled into my middle seat in coach over the wing of the 747, I took my Tylenol PM and got comfortable - until take-off. You see, these old 747s are huge - and experience a lot of wing vibration during take-off - a little piece of information that the pilot didn't share with us prior to take off. So, as we lifted off, and the wings begin to VIOLENTLY shake, rattle and roll, the adrenaline rushed through my body since I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the wings were coming off the plane and we were doomed for the Pacific ocean. (Now, having flown internationally numerous times, these things generally don't bother me - I landed at Gatwick once during gale force winds.) But this violent wing vibration scared the living daylights out of me even though it only lasted for 10-15 seconds. Needless to say, the Tylenol PM I had just taken had no effect over the adrenaline - and I was awake for hours after that. And there I sat, exhausted, bored, cramped, for hours and hours in the dark. When you fly to Sydney, they close all the shades since there's nothing to look at but water and sky the entire trip (and that can also freak you out). I tried to watch movies, but since I had just gotten back from 2 trips to Europe the month before, it was all the same movies on the flight. (I think I watched 'My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding' 5 times on those trips). The pilot gave very few updates and I thought the plane trip would never end. But, it did - and Becky and I had an incredible time in Sydney - one of the most beautiful cities in the world with the friendliest people. (BTW, ask Becky about Bondi Beach sometime).
Titus has now been in the PICU for one very, very, long week. But, he has shown great improvement over the last 2 days. They are in the process of weaning him off of the ventilator and he is taking good breaths in between the breaths that the vent provides him. They anticipate extubated him tomorrow, but a lot will depend on how he does today. He looks good - they gave him a bath yesterday and his hair was sticking straight up. His dark hair is falling out a bit and is coming in much lighter. He still has a lot of hair, but not near as much as a month ago. He is still sedated, but opened his eyes a few times yesterday. We have not been able to hold him in the past week, nor touch him without gloves on. That's been one of the hardest parts about this past week - to stand there next to his bed, and not to be able to hold him. They are also beginning the process of weaning him off the heavy sedation. Dr. Genecov has also been by several times to check his jaw. It looks good and we no longer need to turn the screws. Titus will have surgery in 8 weeks to remove the device. I'll send out pics soon to show you the incredible difference this has made.
Becky and I have talked how this week in the PICU was like the flight to Sydney - alone, long, dark, quiet, exhausting, few updates, turbulence. But just like the flight, there was an end - with a glorious time afterwards. Titus still has several more days in the hospital, but we are beginning to see the end in sight. These have been long days, with some scary episodes and I'm reminded that waiting is sometimes part of God's plan. Abraham and Sarah waiting for years for Isaac to be born, Joseph lingered in jail, Moses spent 40 years as a shepherd after being a prince before he became a leader again, David waited for years before he able to claim the throne. Over and over in the Bible, there are numerous examples of men and women who waited. And, as we stated before, there will be a lot of waiting over the next few years for Titus. The verse I read this morning reminded me again that Becky and I are not forgotten - Titus is not forgotten - my family is not forgotten. We wait, as hard as it is, as limiting as it can be, we wait because God has a plan.
Lamentations 3:23-25
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;
Please pray for these things:
- Titus strength will return - his breathing will continue to grow stronger today
Taking Titus off the vent and sedation - this is a delicate dance and we pray that Titus will pick up his breathing - His lungs will continue to clear all the secretions and be clear/fully inflated
- Our Medicaid application has been submitted - and we pray for approval. This will help in the long term (and short term).
- Continued rest and peace for Becky and I and the boys - Becky commented last night how rested she has been over the last few days and she knows it's because of the prayers being lifted up.
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